Painfully Numb
by SincerelySarcastic
Summary: I said I was ugly. You admired my looks. I thought I was stupid. You claimed that you enjoyed my thoughts. I knew that I was weak. You made me strong. I loved you… So why did you stab me? Yumichiki and an OC, with a very short pairing.
1. Ch 1: Breath in, breath out, now panic!

The ink on the paper was written very neatly, with no smudges. And as far as she knew, her eyesight was perfectly fine too. So… that would make it a typo. Right?

"I'm sorry Miss Rina. But it does indeed state that you have been placed in the Eleventh Division." The person at the desk said clearly, with a fake tone that had obviously no genuine sympathy at all.

"E-Eleventh Division. With Kenpachi?" She stuttered over for the eighth time, just for the sake of clarification. Surely there had been some kind of fatal mistake, or switching.

"Captain Zaraki. And yes, you have also received ninth seat. Congratulations." Looking bored, the woman stifled a yawn, and dragged out another slip of paper from a wooden drawer built into the desk. "Now sign here and you're good to go."

The words "Funeral Insurance" were printed in bold at the top of the page.

"You're kidding me. This isn't real. No." The newly graduated Soul Reaper said in utter denial.

"Sweetie, do you really think you're going to make it? If you live through the first twenty years, you may get transferred if that is your request at the time. Now sign, and quit hyperventilating. That's quite unhealthy for you." She advised, holding out a ballpoint pen while tapping her fingers on the other hand in impatience. "Be quick about it. Kenpachi doesn't like it very much when he's held up with newbies."

The kanji that composed of her name was shaky and scrawled, but it seemed to satisfy the desk woman, as if she had seen worse. "Good. Now take this badge, keep breathing, and keep your chin down. It's much harder to decapitate people that way. Shoo!"

Rina still stood there, with her mouth wide open, frozen and unbelieving. Giving another agitated sigh, the woman picked up a stapler, and with marksman precision, flung it at her straight at the forehead.

She ducked out of the room, where the next fidgety graduate shuffled in, giving her looks of pity as she walked out. "Good luck, Rina." He whispered, with eyes wide as if she had already died, with his own fingers tied in knots.

Not exactly what she wanted to hear. Taking a fortifying breath of air, she looked at the address printed on the misfortunate sheet, and memorized it. But her legs were also paralyzed with shock.

Why had this happened? She was okay in kido. And maybe she failed once or twice in the medical exams… But as for physical abilities and weapon wielding… what were they thinking? Placing her into the Eleventh Company? It was an incredibly sick joke for them to play on her. She gripped the hilt of her zanpaku-to for reassurance, fingers fading into a shade of white as the pressure squeezed the blood out of her hands.

_I can do this. I can at least walk, right? Because if I can't, then I might as well slit my throat right now…_

One leg, up, down over there. Repeat with other leg, switch back and forth until arrival. Above all, keep breathing. Her body was on complete autopilot, the mind in deep thought and poisoned with dread.

_Mom, Dad, can you see me? Can you see me from the heavens, or wherever you are?_

That was fast. The building was only a few feet away. Why does this always happen when she wasn't paying attention? Keeping breathing, stay positive.

_I'll be joining you soon. Say hi to Taku for me, okay?_

Too late for any optimism. The doorway appeared before her, looming way over her head and casting imposing shadows that may have been implying certain doom.

_And tell him that I tried. I really did._

Step in through the doorway, don't bump into anyone-

"Ouch!" a voice rang out in alarm, sounding oddly dignified for someone who was supposed to be hurt.

"AGHH!" she cried out, stumbling backwards with no grace whatsoever.

Okay, the good points. She landed on her knees, little injuries sustained from that. What were the bad points from this? The other person was scowling openly, rubbing his forehead. This person looked androgynous, as the gender was hard to place. He (Or very possibly she) had the sleekest hair that she had ever seen before, and an orange collar underneath the traditional shinigami robes. Were those feathers near his (She decided on his) eyes? He seemed…

Well, he seemed pissed, really.

-End Chapter 1, continuation on Chapter 2-


	2. Ch 2: OH NOES!

**Author's Note**: I'm so excited! Reviews on my first fanfiction! My sincerest heartfelt thanks to you reviewers… you've truly made me happy! Again, thank you for reviewing, and thank you even more for reading! Bleach or any of its characters do not belong to me in any way for it is Tite Kubo's, but Rina is my character. And Dragonball Z belongs to Akira Toriyama. No, this is not a crossover!

* * *

"Hey, you should watch where you're going, that could have left fatal scarring!" He complained, rubbing a spot on his forehead. "Oh?"

He cocked an eyebrow, taking interest at the newly assigned badge hanging loosely on her arm. It was barely clinging there, because she had figured that why bother making it fit right if she was about to die anyways?

"You've been assigned to the Eleventh? A new girl like you?" He asked, while simultaneously checking his reflection in a handheld mirror he (Or she. Suspicions of "she" were coming back now) had just whipped out of a pocket.

"I don't believe it either." She muttered under her breath, not knowing what else to say in the situation.

"Well. At least you should get up. I'm Yumichika Ayasegawa, the most beautifully talented person in Soul Society, fifth seat." He declared, helping her up back onto her feet with some kind of elaborate gesture while doing it. "You're not too much of an eyesore. What's your name? I doubt it's as pretty as mine."

_Yumichika? Ah, so he really is a guy. Um, okay… Maybe the Eleventh won't be so bad after all, if they're guys like him… What am I thinking?! Am I forgetting those rumors about this particular squad already?_

"I'm…I'm Rina Nakano. Rina Nakano of probably-going-to-die-in-a-few-minutes." She stuttered out nervously and blinking in surprise at her choice of words. _Where did that come from? It's true for the most part anyhow. _"Er, and uh… Ninth seat."

"Hmm? For a person with a nice name, you're not very positive. Being pessimistic is bad for your skin, you know. You'd get the most dreadful acne, and that's always no good." He said, eyes switching over to her forehead, wincing at the various telltale scars, scabs, and irritated bumps.

_Says you, Mr. Perfectly Clear Complexion Man._ "Is everyone as nice as you?" Rina asked him with a tone that she hoped didn't sound too desperate. Which it did.

"As pretty? No. I find that pretty people have fairly good personalities. And the people you are about to meet are very, very ugly." He wrinkled his nose when he said the word "ugly", as if it were some sort of unfortunate affliction. "Oh look, here come Kenpachi. He takes so long to do his hair, what was it last time, six hours just for the bells? And eye patches were so last century; do you think he was a pirate as a human…?"

Rina lost track of conversation at that point, for there was something that was seriously bothering her about the Captain of her new division.

This guy was tall.

As in, ridiculously, ridiculously tall.

As in, "Either the world got dramatically smaller, or I've just shrunk by five feet recently" tall.

"-And I'm willing to bet all my beauty-ness that the Captain uses the same kind of hair gel that those guys use in that one human manga, Dragonball Z. Ikkaku's always reading that, but-Oh, good morning Captain Zaraki! Good morning Lieutenant Yachiru!" He suddenly finished up, greeting Kenpachi, and-?

Even stranger, a miniature girl with light pink hair sprang up higher on the Captain's shoulder, as if trying to contradict each others' appearances. "G'morning feather head! Who's the tangled hair girl?" Yachiru shouted out cheerfully, firmly grasping two fistfuls of the cloth at Kenpachi's shoulder, keeping perfect balance while smiling at the new arrival.

_Can you see me quaking from up there, Mom? Oh wait, that guy's blocking your view. Ah, never mind, I'll see you in a couple minutes…_

"This is Rina Nakano. She must be cold or something, look at how she's shivering." Yumichika said with a note of concern. "I bet she's from that alleyway near Rukongai, they're always like this at first."

"Eh?! They sent this little whelp to join the Eleventh? Tch, they must've really wanted to get rid of her from the academy to place her here. So… how good are you at wielding your zanpaku-to, hmm?" He growled, leering at her in a bored but mildly interested manner as if evaluating whether or not she would hold up if he decided to stomp on her, or whether it was worth it at all.

"U-Ummmm, uh… ah…"

_Perfect. I'm tongue tied. Dammit, Taku's going to mock me forever about my last words. I'd like to see him say something meaningful in a situation like this._

Scowling, he withdrew an extremely crumpled paper from his pocket. "Hn. Nakano? Ninth?! A pansy like you?! Soul Society's grown soft, what the bloody hell were they thinking? You're more like Fourth Division dead weight, unless you completely failed the medical exams like the rest of us…"

"Initiation, Kenny?" Yachiru offered sweetly.

Rina started to perspire, and thinking that she should have just decided to drown herself this morning.

A wolf-like smile crept across his face, made even more twisted by the deep scars that jutted in. "Okay, here's the jist, weakling. If you survive my attacks for five minutes straight without running, I'll let you live. If not… You're probably not that stupid."

Yumichika began backing away, though Rina knew better. This was not an "_I'm backing away to go get help_" movement, this was an "_I'm moving out of the way as so not to get all blood soaked and such_" type of thing. Or either this was probably Rina's usual bad habit of acting negative in moments of stress.

On that particularly happy note, he unsheathed his zanpaku-to, sliding it out slowly, as if to savor the moment, his maniacal grin spreading wider and wider with each approaching step...

_OH. CRAP._

-End Chapter Two, continuation on Chapter Three-

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**Author Note**: I'm glad you stuck around for the second chapter! You know you want to read Chapter Three, for action awaits! The first two chapters I'm sticking my toes in and testing the waters, but for the third and fourth, I'm jumping right in. You'll get a better idea of what the summary really means. My intro is fully over, now I'm prepared to sink into the actual story development. Get ready, and I'll see ya!


	3. Ch 3: I remember

**Author's Note**: Bleach and its characters belong to Tite Kubo. Oh, and never EVER eat stale Twizzlers. Or chocolate Skittles either, for that matter. Man, those are terrible. Fanfiction onwards! _This is Rina's perspective, this first part. _Then it switches back to narration. Or well, something like that. *Shrugs* Enjoy!

* * *

Now that this might be the end, I suppose life hadn't been that bad. I mean… I'm not seeing my life flash before my very eyes or anything, but I do want to remember some parts. I was such a brat, and by no chance should ever forget how I had acted. I remember…

I was born in Rukongai, which is, without a doubt, the equivalent of a large ditch populated with blood soaked gangsters and starving beggars. A very grimy ditch, for that overall matter. It was always dirty, and the phrase "There was never enough to eat" was a severe understatement. From here on, yes, at the very beginning, my life went downhill. No, wait. I was already in a ditch, remember?

I lived there with my mother and father, unusual since couples almost never stick together in Rukon, much less even keep kids around. I nurtured a deep resentment for them, making me live in a place like that, as if they had any choice in the matter. I'm ashamed to report that I didn't even know what their names were, as survival was all that mattered at the time to me, to all of us. There was also my younger brother, Takumi, whose name I did catch since that meant one more person I had to share what little food we scrounged up with. I despised him, and I'm deeply ashamed of that too. He was a sweet kid. They were good adults. What did that make me?

Finally, a rough winter swept by, cold and unforgiving. A plague swept them all away, completely out of the blue. There was little I could have done. I was… alone. I had never known what that felt like before, and it hit me much like being smacked across the face.

I deserved it. They didn't.

Have you ever felt loneliness? It crushed me, and left me with nothing.

I started my existence in a ditch. And somehow, I had sunk even lower.

Eventually, I hardened up a bit. I constantly stole food and raided abandoned shacks, all for the sake of survival. But no matter what, life still remained the same- a miserable wreck, taunted by the fact that I had taken what little I had for granted. There was only one escape out of it, and that was by entering the Shinigami Academy.

I still don't know whether that was the best or worst decision of my life. I guess anything would be better than being stuck where I was. So I ended up in a dormitory, learned lots, failed lots, and hoped much. By a spark of unexpected talent (The kido training room was blown up on my first try) and uncanny luck, I actually graduated on my first try, and that gave me joy and meaning.

This was, of course, taken away the moment I walked into that stupid office and got assigned. Which brings me here now. About to die.

* * *

Kenpachi unsheathed his jagged edged zanpaku-to, grinning like a madman, with Yachiru clinging happily to his back.

"Stand still." She advised, while searching her pockets and withdrawing a sticky gumdrop to eat, "It makes less of a mess that way when Kenny slices you up!"

Rina's body tensed up, trying to steady her breathing. _Five minutes or nothing… HERE IT GOES! _

With a twisted smile, he lunged straight at her with little or no warning.

Spinning off to the other side, she quickly unsheathed her zanpaku-to, sweat already perspiring from her forehead in concentration. His cut missed her by an inch, sweeping in an almost unavoidable arc. A large gash tore through the left sleeve of her robe, bleeding profusely.

Rina grasped her uchigatana in a defensive position, trying to ignore the large cut that graced her arm.

An Uchigatana, as she vaguely recalled, was a type of sword used mainly for its speed, and for the benefit of how swiftly it could be unsheathed. So quickly, that the act of unsheathing could also be turned immediately into the act of striking. This is extremely useless against a person with the spiritual pressure like Kenpachi's, so better to use it to distract and guard.

It was not its actual name, as Rina was far from discovering that. But thankfully, the captain was no further in that process than she was. Technically, that probably didn't hinder his fighting abilities at all in the least, but it had to count for _something_, right?

He looked slightly annoyed at what she had done. "Don't skitter like a mouse. And what is that? My sword will cut through any defensive tactics you have like butter. Next time, take the direct hit if you're going to bore me like this. One minute!"

Lazily, he spun his sword around in circles faster than a baton being twirled, and lashed out his arm.

"Kyaaah!" She shrieked out in response, and held her stance.

The results weren't pretty. Her technique had indeed reflected part of the attack, but instead changed its direction so that it was flung straight at her forehead. The force actually sent her flying back, reeling from the shock of the blow. Also, the sharp edge of the blade had done its worst, slashing a moderate sized wound on her forehead.

_Stapler, sword… I don't know how much more of this I can take._ She thought, her mind almost growing fuzzy. _I need to concentrate… But why bother?_

Hazily, she dropped to her knees, practically at her limit.

_Because I'd promised Takumi I'd live his dream. How can I live that dream if I'm dead?_

_THEN GET UP, IDIOT._

Whoa. She didn't think that. Either Takumi was directly communicating to her somehow, or…

No way…

Her zanpaku-to had finally decided to speak to her.

"It took you long enough!" She yelled out at her sword. "Life or death situation, bah! You should've said something to me when I was at the gate! I could've ran!"

_Coward._ It spoke to her, scorn mocking her in its tone. _Why do you run? Can you achieve your dream from running, coward?_

Truthfully, it was actually kinda cool, like some kinda extra conscience. But what aggravated her was that fact that out of all the times it could've chose to come out, it took its sweet time and spoke to her now. When she was about to die.

"Hey, at least I would've known you longer, you stupid!" What a great relationship this was turning out to be.

A few paces away, Kenpachi and Yachiru looked at each other. "What… the bloody heck is she doing?" He asked Yachiru.

"Ummmm… I think all the blood's flown out of her brain!" Yachiru replied, just as puzzled as he was. "You shouldn't have hit her so hard, Kenny! She's talking to herself!"

"Tch, I'll put her out of her misery. What a shame, she only had half a minute to go."

With that, he prepared the final strike.

_Well, Coward-san._ Her zanpaku-to spoke with obvious mock politeness. _Shall we see your potential, or will you run away first?_

Slowly, Rina got up.

"I think… I'll show Takumi how to survive." With a snarl, she lifted her zanpaku-to high up into the air. "By the way, idiot-san. What the heck's your name?"

_We'll discuss that after your life or death, now, won't we?_

_

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_

-End Chapter 3, continuation on Chapter 4-

**Author's Note**: Okay, maybe THIS is the final part of introduction. I swear, I'm trying to get to the Yumichika pairing ASAP. But it's your choice, whether you wanna stick around or not. Thanks for reading, and see ya!


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